Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Deviant Member mattMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 98 Deviations 545 Comments 3,479 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: all the right moves
  • Reading: The two towers
  • Watching: people
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
its been some time since any updates here for me. truthfully my projects are to big to scan and the camera is broken so i cant get an image to the computer.

i write here not so much for it to be read by people but to get it out of my head. yes i understand that a journal( on paper) would be more appropriate, or that a word document could suffice. but i truly do not care.

its senior year and things are shitty as fuck. everything i envisioned and dreamed about has died right before my eyes. drugs and alcohol have entered my goup of friends... and i am strongly against both. the group has split leaving me smack in the middle not knowing what to do. everyone is being an asshole to one another, they are hurting and taking without any thought of what it does to the people around them. Its rare that i return home happy anymore from school. everyday something else drags me further down, hits me once more whilst i am on the ground.

i am watching everything i have worked for and twords being taken away from me.

i know this is highschool drama, that it "happens" that i am no more unique than the next person.

But i am so lost, 2009 tore me apart, left me as a smoldering pile of so many different emotions.

course no one notices unless i tell em bout something thats going on, i keep most things to myself, cause the people i trusted, the people i loved and was dedicated to no longer recognize or aknowledge me. Save a handfull that i am so greatful for.

i pray for things to get better, but i go unheard so it seems.

all good things in time right? to every man his own? everyday there is something new to open up the wounds, something to stab deeper and deeper into me everyday. constantly seething with anger in my heart and being flooded by saddness and regreet at the same time. i dont know what to do, i have come full circle to frosh year again. though this time the friends i loved and adored are not there. alone again, hopless, shy, without confidence.

i just wanna know what went wrong, and why everyone is bent on hurting one another. I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT!

sigh, everyday something taken away and nothing is replaced to fill the gap. its getting to be a dark abyss.

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconangelahillportraits:
AngelaHillPortraits Mar 24, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconthankyousignplz: for adding Little friends to your :+fav:
Much appreciated :hug::huggle::heart::love::iconjokerlaughplz:
Reply
:iconwe-love-gaara-club:
thanks for joining, sorry about the late reply.
Reply
:iconmwford:
mwford Dec 24, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+devwatch:
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
haha, no problem, AMAZING work
Reply
:iconomglolzamanda:
omglolzamanda Nov 11, 2009  Student Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:!
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
no problem, old concept in a different way, i like it
Reply
:iconbokuman:
bokuman Aug 24, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! :iconbokuman:
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
haha, no prob. nice work
Reply
:iconheart-of-sins:
heart-of-sins Aug 23, 2009   Photographer
Hello! :w00t:
Thank you so much for adding me to your :+devwatch:
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
no problem, i like your work keep it up!
Reply
:iconnihonshorty:
NihonShorty Aug 11, 2009  Student Writer
Hiya :D
Katie Tanaka btw
And your name kicks ass
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
how did u find me???? and thanks i mad ethe name a couple of years ago sooo, lol

-Matt Dotzler-
Reply
:iconnihonshorty:
NihonShorty Aug 11, 2009  Student Writer
oops thought this was bryan.
hi anyways :D
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
ooo let down :(. lol
Reply
:iconnenxe:
Thanks for favouriting Cap'n Jack!
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
quite welcome, nice work
Reply
:iconstephenmphotography:
Thanks for the :+fav: and for stopping by :gallery:

:peace:

Stephen
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
no prob, i like your work
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
yo, i like te quote u got going on ur comment pages
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconconflictedlittlesoul:
I am very happy you liked my poem, not too many people like the darker things...and sadly darker things are what I like to write. :) Thanks for the add!!! It means a A LOT to me.
Reply
Add a Comment: