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About Deviant Member mattMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Statistics 98 Deviations 545 Comments 3,571 Pageviews

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  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: all the right moves
  • Reading: The two towers
  • Watching: people
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
its been some time since any updates here for me. truthfully my projects are to big to scan and the camera is broken so i cant get an image to the computer.

i write here not so much for it to be read by people but to get it out of my head. yes i understand that a journal( on paper) would be more appropriate, or that a word document could suffice. but i truly do not care.

its senior year and things are shitty as fuck. everything i envisioned and dreamed about has died right before my eyes. drugs and alcohol have entered my goup of friends... and i am strongly against both. the group has split leaving me smack in the middle not knowing what to do. everyone is being an asshole to one another, they are hurting and taking without any thought of what it does to the people around them. Its rare that i return home happy anymore from school. everyday something else drags me further down, hits me once more whilst i am on the ground.

i am watching everything i have worked for and twords being taken away from me.

i know this is highschool drama, that it "happens" that i am no more unique than the next person.

But i am so lost, 2009 tore me apart, left me as a smoldering pile of so many different emotions.

course no one notices unless i tell em bout something thats going on, i keep most things to myself, cause the people i trusted, the people i loved and was dedicated to no longer recognize or aknowledge me. Save a handfull that i am so greatful for.

i pray for things to get better, but i go unheard so it seems.

all good things in time right? to every man his own? everyday there is something new to open up the wounds, something to stab deeper and deeper into me everyday. constantly seething with anger in my heart and being flooded by saddness and regreet at the same time. i dont know what to do, i have come full circle to frosh year again. though this time the friends i loved and adored are not there. alone again, hopless, shy, without confidence.

i just wanna know what went wrong, and why everyone is bent on hurting one another. I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT!

sigh, everyday something taken away and nothing is replaced to fill the gap. its getting to be a dark abyss.

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:iconangelasportraits:
AngelasPortraits Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconthankyousignplz: for adding Little friends to your :+fav:
Much appreciated :hug::huggle::heart::love::iconjokerlaughplz:
Reply
:iconwe-love-gaara-club:
We-Love-Gaara-club Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2010
thanks for joining, sorry about the late reply.
Reply
:iconmwford:
mwford Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+devwatch:
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2009
haha, no problem, AMAZING work
Reply
:iconomglolzamanda:
omglolzamanda Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2009  Student Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:!
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2009
no problem, old concept in a different way, i like it
Reply
:iconjaydawg:
Jaydawg Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2009
*thot
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2009
+:|
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:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2009
:)+
Reply
:iconbokuman:
bokuman Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! :iconbokuman:
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2009
haha, no prob. nice work
Reply
:iconheart-of-sins:
heart-of-sins Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2009   Photographer
Hello! :w00t:
Thank you so much for adding me to your :+devwatch:
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2009
hi
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2009
no problem, i like your work keep it up!
Reply
:iconnihonshorty:
NihonShorty Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009  Student Writer
Hiya :D
Katie Tanaka btw
And your name kicks ass
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009
how did u find me???? and thanks i mad ethe name a couple of years ago sooo, lol

-Matt Dotzler-
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:iconnihonshorty:
NihonShorty Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009  Student Writer
oops thought this was bryan.
hi anyways :D
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:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2009
ooo let down :(. lol
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:iconnenxe:
nenxe Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2009
Thanks for favouriting Cap'n Jack!
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2009
quite welcome, nice work
Reply
:iconstephenmphotography:
StephenMPhotography Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
Thanks for the :+fav: and for stopping by :gallery:

:peace:

Stephen
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:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2009
no prob, i like your work
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:iconstephenmphotography:
StephenMPhotography Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2009
Cool Beans!
Reply
:iconotter-boy:
otter-boy Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2009
yo, i like te quote u got going on ur comment pages
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(1 Reply)
:iconconflictedlittlesoul:
ConflictedLittleSoul Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2009
I am very happy you liked my poem, not too many people like the darker things...and sadly darker things are what I like to write. :) Thanks for the add!!! It means a A LOT to me.
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